Trust

Love is a difficult thing. You can never see it coming - it's like a cyclist on the pavement after dark. You don't know it's there until it's already hit you. And, like the cyclist, sometimes it leaves permanent marks.

I find it very hard to trust people; weirdly, the more I love them, the harder it is to let them in, to trust them with something so intense as my actual self. I want to trust them. I yearn to be able to just...feel things without constant fear of betrayal or abandonment or anything else. I don't know why I am how I am - daddy issues, problems with previous relationships, it can't be that hard to work out...but I want to not be like that. I want to be that happy, confident, sexy woman who can love and trust and all of that without wondering if the person they love is just with them because they are good at making tea, or something equally dumb.

This is all far too serious! But actually...it is serious. And I don't really know what to say.